I honestly never thought conception would be such a wearisome task for me. I come from a
very large Extremely large family and procreation seemingly wasn’t a problem. In fact, the theory in our lineage was if someone was pregnant; expect two more babies to follow as we come in three’s. So imagine my anguish when I miscarried not once but three times (2 miscarriages and 1 ectopic). The first one took place while I was living in New York, the Mr. in Atlanta and way before the nuptials. Yes, of course I wanted the "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage", but it didn't happen that way. Nevertheless, I was so elated to know that I was bringing life into this world. Well that was short lived due to a late term miscarriage at 15 1/2 weeks. I was in utter shock, disbelief and hurt to the core but Mr. remained strong for both of us throughout that traumatic ordeal. The love and support from him really helped bring me out of my funk.
|Me in ATL happy and 14 weeks pregnant|
The second miscarriage happened really fast. I found out I was pregnant in October of 2009 and before the month was up, I was in the emergency room with yet another nurse informing me that I had miscarried. The thrill was gone before I even got on the ride. I grieved a little but got busy and continued on my journey. I found out I was pregnant again on New Year’s Eve 2010 (Fertile Myrtle..I know). What a fabulous way to bring in the New Year by celebrating life. My hormone levels were normal and doubling like they were supposed to; I was so overjoyed. I filled my DVR with episodes of Special Deliveries, A Baby Story, Birthday and all other pregnancy related shows. Not to mention the books and pregnancy journals I purchased. I just knew this time would be different. I knew this one would make it outside of the womb and call me Mommy. Well our celebration was short lived because a few days later, I had severe pain on my right side. On a scale of 1-10 the pain was about an 8. It was at that moment I knew something was wrong. I went to the ER and found out the baby was in my right tube. He or She never completed their journey. I was so heartbroken and in complete denial until the pain came back and forced me to believe what the doctor’s were telling me. After two weeks and two failed methotrexate injections (Medication to dissolve the pregnancy), the baby continued to grow rapidly in my tube. My doctor had no choice but to perform surgery to remove the pregnancy. Thankfully my tube did not have to be removed. The surgery went well and I recovered physically in a few days.
Out of all of the pregnancies the ectopic was by far the worst. It was the fear of the unknown and the possibility of losing my fertility for good.
About a month ago I was giving a clean bill of health from my doctor. Everything is in place and working the way it should. We will start trying for a mini B & B really soon.
My perception about conception was all wrong. Based on the number of pregnant teens in my high school I just thought, you have sex, you get pregnant, you have a baby....point blank.
While researching an educating myself on possible conditions I came across some alarming facts:
- 6.2 million women between the ages of 15 and 44 are diagnosed as being infertile;
- 40% of infertility is caused by female factor, 40% is caused by male factor, and 20% is caused by a joint male and female factor; and
- Only one third of women of African descent who face this issue seek treatment.
So we haven’t giving up or even allowed the past mishaps to consume our lives.
I found this quote on The Broken Brown Egg Foundation Facebook fan page (A foundation whose goal is to encourage African Americans to talk about this topic so that those dealing with fertility concerns and reproductive health issues won't feel so alone, through humor, activism, and hope): http://www.facebook.com/TheBrokenBrownEgg
"To make a great omelet, you have to be willing to break a few eggs."
So simple but so true.
Ok, publish....I'm so happy I shared this.