Saturday, October 20, 2012

Getting "Me" Back

A few days ago I tweeted....
"I'm learning fast that it's easy to lose yourself after becoming a mommy! How do you find a balance?"
So naturally this prompted this post.  I feel like a completely different person. A new woman and I can honestly say I'm not quite satisfied with who she is.  To all of my mothers out there will I ever return to myself.... because right now I'm stuck in limbo.  Will the old Brandi become just that..the old me? Is this the time to reinvent self because you will never be the person you were before the baby?  I love being a mommy and a wife but outside of these roles I am Brandi; a woman who loves pink, wearing heels, anything fashion, wine tastings, event planning and a good girls night out every now and then.  I'm not sure where that woman went so I've mentally filed a missing person report.  After three months postpartum can I still chalk these feelings up to hormones? I guess some of the things that have me feeling this way is my weight, good grief my belly should have her own name! I had this misconception that "she" would shrink back down shortly after the birth but now I see it's going to take some hard work to get her back to being "apart" of me again.  What happened to my hair??  After the birth it was so nice and luscious... simply beautiful.  About two weeks ago it just started shedding.  It was like something was literally eating my hair especially around the edges! The sad part about it is that there was nothing that I could do but allow it to take its course. My stylist did offer me some advice on how to slow down the shedding.  Moving onto my feet, yup I'm not sure what happen to my nice arches they somehow disappeared; however, I did find about a half inch of growth on them (sigh).  It took time to build up my shoedrobe and now those shoes are just sitting pretty in my closet.  I'm so happy that all of these things are superficial and with time I will be able to fix but at the moment this is what I am dealing with.  I will be honest and say that I did have a hard time deciding whether to publish this post.  After struggling with infertility for so long and then finally being blessed with one of the most precious baby girls in the world and I just can't seem to get-it-together.  The great thing is that I have figured out the problem and have written down the steps that I need to do in order to overcome these challenges.  So mommies is this something that you went through that no one talks about? What advice do you have for a new mommy?


  1. In terms of the hair shedding I did use garlic oil both times. But really, your hair will kind of naturally rejuvenate itself over the next year. With both boys my temples were looking like Susan Taylor and my hair thinned badly... but it's back to the way it was before.

    The weight loss... not so easy. Breastfeeding helps to shrink your stomach, so stick with that as long as you can!

    I'm still not the same woman I was before kids but I think Im finally achieving a balance that makes me happy. I have to tell you, moving away from and creating a fashion/style blog that was strictly for me helped tremendously. Before that, I was just totally immersed in the kids and motherhood ALL the time... and it was fun while they were babies, but i definitely needed to get "me" back in a way that felt fabulous and familiar... and i did that thru replacing my mom blogger hat with my fashion hat.

    1. Thank you Yakini! I really miss your mommy blog but I totally understand the transition now. I am trying to find a balance between mommy blogging and fashion or trying to figure out how to encompass the two. I have to look up the garlic oil, I was doing protein treatments which has drastically slowed the shedding down.

  2. Oh Sassy- I feel your pain. I went through similar struggles after I had my son almost 5 years ago. I want to encourage you to be patient with yourself. Your body didn't get in the shape it's in in just 3 months so it's going to take some time to get back to normal.

    But here are some tips to help you through this next phase:
    1. Drink PLENTY of water.
    2. If you're nursing do so for as long as you can. Nursing burns 500 calories per day.
    3. Get some really good foundation garments and wear them daily. They will help to flatten your tummy and help your clothes fit nicely.
    4. REST! Whenever you can. Just get it in. You'll feel better if you do.

    I just had baby number 2 a month ago so I understand. Everyday I try to do 1 thing that reminds me that I'm not just a walking milk station. I'm a person. And honestly it really does go by fast. You'll see. :-) Best wishes to you and your new addition! I'll say a prayer for you all.

    1. Hi Sharee,

      First, Congrats on the new baby!! Are you exhausted over there? I have my days when I'm full of energy and then the days when I am not so energized. My baby girl really does make this all worth it and I understand that but I still would like to have a sense of self. Thanks so much for the tips!

  3. Yes, your body goes through a cycle of changes. I would say that eating right, getting rest on a regular basis and keeping up a good beauty routine are very helpful. The baby weight does take time to come off unless you have a personal trainer in the closet.

    I mourned the loss of some of my shoes because my feet grew too after my pregnancy. I thought it was going to be something that would go back to normal but three years later and my feet still haven't gone back to their pre-babies size.

    I would also encourage you to get out and do things that you loved doing before you became a mom. Enjoy a night with the girls or just a few hours of you time. Whatever it is set aside a day that you do something that you want to do just for yourself. I agree that things like this often are overlooked in those pregnancy books and magazines or not talked about a lot, but you can overcome these issues and not get swallowed up in just being a mom.

    1. It is truly a balancing act.easy way to remember.. You have to be at your best to take care of your family so take care of you :)
      Rest,hydrate smile,laugh,date nights,sisterfriends,journal,yoga,pray,family, kiss and hold your baby and remember.. you are only human :)

  4. How did I miss this post?!! It will be gradual, but it will come. You will find your rhythm and figure out how to wear your mommy hat and be you at the same time. I had a hard time with my first kid as well. When the 2nd one cameo didn't skip a beat!