Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Fireproofing My Marriage: My Love Dare Journal

The other night I watched the movie Fireproof at the recommendation of a friend.  She told me that she was doing something called the Love Dare from the the movie.  Naturally, I was intrigued so as soon as I put baby girl down for a nap I was on Netflix searching for the movie. I really enjoyed the movie and with the New Year it prompted me to make some changes within myself and in my marriage.

After having baby girl our marriage has gone through some changes with adjusting to our new little person; specifically, with finding a balance between family time and us/couple time.  In the movie the couple were no longer friends let alone lovers and were heading towards a divorce.  Mr and I are still lovers and best friends; however, in order to fireproof our marriage we need to make some changes.   I decided to start these changes with myself and take on the love dare.  Since baby girl was born my main focus has been on her, caring, teaching and loving this child with all of my heart! This tends to have pros and cons because it means I have little or no time to dedicate to Mr and I can at times neglect my role and duties as his wife. He hasn't mentioned anything about it yet although he does give little hints when the laundry basket is overflowing.

I never shared my New Years goals but two of those goals are to be a better wife and to get closer to God.  The Love Dare encompasses both of these goals!  I have not shared my knowledge of the movie or even the love dare with Mr.  My plan is  to have us watch it together once my 40 days commences.  He does occasionally view my blog but that's only if he sees the post in his facebook feed or if I ask him to read a post.  So I decided to block him from my fan page for the next 40 days and simply fail to mention anything in regards to my blog in an attempt to fulfill this goal in private. ('s on the blog so it's not private but just keep it from him)

Day 1 of the Love Dare:
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s
better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.

I actually started Day 1 on Sunday.  Brianna and I went to church and Mr. went to work.  I felt great and in the spirit this morning.  We came home and I prepared dinner and anxiously waited for Mr. to return so that I could set things in motion.  After he settled in I realized that I was holding my tongue quite often.  It's amazing how day 1 really puts things into perspective.  It made me so much more aware and conscious of my thoughts, my actions and my words.  I realized I was putting a lot more negative energy into the atmosphere than I cared for. I'm sure it has to do with being sleep deprived from a teething baby and at times feeling like a single parent because Mr's schedule is so busy.  (I'll talk about that at a later date, but this is a very busy year for him) I do however realize that everything he is doing is for us but sometimes that reality does not help with my feelings or my exhaustion.  Needless to say day 1 was a struggle but I got through it and successfully.  Although negative thoughts crept into my mind I never allowed them to surface through my mouth. 

I am currently on day 4. A recap of the past couple of days coming soon!

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love -Ephesians 4:2


  1. My resolution was to not yell at my husband anymore so we were both thinking along the same lines.

  2. Great resolution! Its hard to juggle hubby, yourself and a new baby! My husband and I have a rule: Kids in bed by 8! We try our hardest to have everyone settled by then. After that its our time! Sometimes that means vegging on the couch, others it means playing a game or sing karoke! Making time is hard but possible!

  3. This is a great resolution. I can't wait to read more..

  4. I've watched the movie, and gone through the Love Dare myself. I wish you nothing but success and prosperity on your journey. You'll be changed for the better because of it.

  5. I am also currently taking the love dare after watching Fireproof for the first time the other night :)

  6. You know, it's funny, when we hit a rough patch, we tried one of those books that does the list type thing and we failed at it. We just forgot to do them! It wasn't until recently, that we started watching Rules of Engagement, that we reconnected. I don't know what it is, but we have barely argued, my husband is more open and listens to me.
    It's great to find something you both can do, like this Dare. Good luck!

  7. I wish my husband and I were willing to do this a long time ago. For me it's to late. Kudos on fighting for your marriage.

  8. Love this.. It's a great way to be in the moment and stay conscious of your thoughts and actions..